


It's Not Like I Like You

by hpd_lance



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Why do I do this to myself, just let me die in a hole after this, literally i am trash, there's literally nothing in this fic that could even be considered a good idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpd_lance/pseuds/hpd_lance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat and John meet in detention.<br/>Start a two-person band.<br/>Do the fluffy cuddle thing.<br/>It doesn't help that both of them are gay guys trying to be heterosexual around each other.</p><p>Mutual pining and severe lack of angst aside, this fic is going to ruin me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah um if you haven't listened to _Love Me Dead ___by Ludo then you should and you will.

It wasn't Karkat's fault he was in detention.  
Well.  
It kind of was. He probably shouldn't have punched that other kid, no matter how much he deserved it.  
But still, it was unfair that the other guy went without punishment.  
It wasn't Karkat's fault the guy was picking on the newbie! Yeah, "fag" was _soooo ___original, Derek. Apparently Derek was the name of every asshole.  
Karkat thought it was all beautifully cliché, his first week of school, and already he was being marked for the slaughter.   
It was like he'd stepped into a romcom. One minute, he'd be sitting all alone in detention, then the next, some hot stranger would show up, and they'd end up "unlikely friends" and somehow manage to make out towards the end, then walk off into the sunset, hand-in-hand, as credits roll.  
Well, at least that's how it would've worked, _if ___he was a heterosexual teenage girl with "rebel" status, who actually wasn't a rebel at all, and really just lacked a sufficient father figure in her life.  
When the hot stranger walked in, Karkat wanted nothing more than to be a heterosexual teenage girl.


	2. Are you the sun? Cuz you sure are hot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John sees Karkat. Holy shit is he cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE ME CANCEROUSLY

John was in detention because of two things;  
1) He was late. He was way late.  
2) He was gay. He was hella gay.

Okay, well, he was only in detention because he was late.  
His gym teacher sure was an ass.  
He walked into the classroom and _holy shit that guy is cute ___. That guy in question was a red-haired, freckle-faced, brown-eyed beautiful human being, who was currently glaring at him with the fire of a million suns.  
Wow.  
If this was a romantic comedy, he'd be a heterosexual (probably blonde) girl, and the guy sitting there would have come to flirt with him by now, but he wasn't a girl, and this wasn't a romcom, and that guy was about as close to flirting with him as the Sun was to Pluto.  
He really wanted to talk to the guy for some reason.  
Luckily, there wasn't anybody else in the room. Yet.  
He took the seat next to the guy (some asshole named Derek had written his name on the desk. Not cool man.) and tried making conversation.  
"So... what are you in for?" He tried.  
The guy stared him down critically. "I killed a guy." He said.  
John's eyes widened.  
"I'm just kidding, fucking hell. I beat the shit out of a guy because he was talking shit about me."  
"Wow. I was just late for gym class."  
The other guy laughed. Holy shit his laugh was amazing. John took this as a cue to introduce himself. "My name's John. John Egbert. What's yours?"  
The guy blinked for a second. He shrugged, "Karkat. Karkat Vantas. Pleasure to meet you."  
"Car.... cat.... holy-- like beep beep meow?"  
"Oh my god, no. Karkat with a 'k'. Both times."  
John laughed, this was clearly the boy of his dreams. So clearly, in fact, John was starting to think this was probably a dream.  
If it was, whoever wasn't letting him wake up was a huge bitch. This was cruelty.  
He was hoping this wasn't a dream. Please let this not be a dream.  
"So... what kind of stuff do you like? Like what kind of movies?"  
"Oh my gosh, I don't know! I like action movies mostly, but there are a few romcoms I'll watch. I mean, _What If ___, with Dan Radcliffe was pretty good. _Grease ___was good. A couple of others."  
"I haven't seen _What If ___, but I've heard it's pretty good. I really need to watch it, you know? I just... money is tight for me."  
"So what kind of movies do you like?" John asked.  
"Oh, romcoms. I love all of them. Except the shitty ones."  
John laughed, this guy was too perfect. Somebody pinch him, he was dreaming.  
"You seem pretty cool. Do we have any classes together?" John asked, his attraction to the guy growing with every second.  
"I dunno. Who do you have for homeroom?"  
"Ms. Paint."  
"I have- believe it or not- my older brother. He's an asshole sometimes, but at least he goes easy on me."  
"Oh I heard we were getting somebody new! Isn't he also the religion teacher or something?"  
"Yeah."  
John was losing him. He had to say something interesting.

Nothing came to mind until he spotted a piano tucked away in the corner of the room.  
"Oh my gosh. There's a piano. I play piano. I wonder how mad they'd be if I played on it..."  
"Try. If there's a guitar over there, pass it here. I play guitar, we could play a somber duet about how detention fucking sucks."  
John laughed. He actually had seen a guitar over there.  
He walked over to the piano, dragging a chair behind him. He grabbed the guitar by it's neck and passed it to Karkat.  
"What can you play off the top of your head?" Karkat asked.  
" _Married Life ___from _UP ___, _Love Me Dead ___\--" John started saying. He could play so many songs.  
He had so much skill.  
"Oh my god. I love that song. _Love Me Dead ___is my favorite." Karkat said, absent-mindedly tuning the guitar. He gave it a strum. He must've thought it sounded good, because he started playing.

" _Love me cancerously~ Like a salt sore soaked in the sea. High maintenence means, you're a gluttonous queen-- narcissistic and mean_ "  
The noise that came out of his mouth, halfway between an exhasperated sigh and a moan, made John's heart feel funny.  
John didn't miss a beat in joining in, though.  
" _KILL ME ROMANTICALLY~ FILL MY SOUL WITH VOMIT THEN ASK ME FOR A PIECE OF GUM, BITTER AND DUMB-- YOU'RE MY SUGAR PLUM_ "  
The two of them sang almost perfectly. John loved Karkat's singing voice. So much.  
" _You're awful. I LOVE YOU!_ "  
John really loved Karkat's singing voice.  
" _He moves through moonbeams slowly~ He knows just how to hold me~ and when his edges soften, his body is my coffin-- I know he drains me slowly, he wears me down to bones in bed; must be the sign on my head, that says, OHHHHH LOVE ME DEAD! LOVE MEE DEAD!_ "  
Wait no. No John. John you changed the pronouns to make the song gay. Karkat had just gone along with the lyrics change.  
They finished singing the song, and a small grin spread across Karkat's face.  
"So John?" He asked.  
John raised an eyebrow in reply.  
"Why'd you change the lyrics?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm loudly singing along to _Love Me Dead ___and I just
> 
>  
> 
> _LOVE ME DEAD~_  
>  LOVE MEEEEEE DEAD~
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> ~~we're not going to mention John's lyric change.~~  
>   
> 
> __  
> ~~don't talk about it~~  
>  John is embarrassed  
> 


	3. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blah blah bluh ik this has been a long time coming
> 
> I need to stop tbh

Karkat was genuinely curious as to why his newfound friend had changed the pronouns to make the song gay.  
He had hopes. He had real hopes.  
The guy was so attractive it hurt; He was kind of darker-skinned, with dark brown hair, and his eyes were bluer than the tears of one million fangirls. Which is to say, bluer than Tumblr after the new episode of _Supernatural_ airs.  
"Well... I dunno. I mean. I just. Um." John was seemingly at a loss for words.  
Karkat didn't say anything. He didn't want to assume. He could only hope. He had so much hope.  
You might even say he had all of the hope.  
All of it.  
John changed the subject, asking if Karkat knew any other songs he could play on his own.  
Subject change level: John.  
Karkat knew several songs.  
All of which were love songs.  
Most of which were by Taylor Swift.  
He loved Taylor Swift.

"Play me something?"  
Karkat couldn't turn down those big blue puppy eyes. He couldn't.  
He started playing.

_"Love of mine,_  
someday you will die.   
But I will be close behind.   
I'll follow you into the dark.  
No blinding light,  
no tunnels to gates of white,  
just our hands clasped so tight.  
Waiting for the hint of a spark. 

_If heaven and hell decide,_  
that they both are satisfied,  
illuminate the 'no's on their vacancy signs.  
If there's no one beside you,  
when your soul embarks,  
I'll follow you into the dark." 

Karkat was going to keep playing. He really was. But then the teacher showed up. She stared at him for a few minutes, then waved her hand. "Please, continue. Did you write that?"  
"Uh... no. It's by Death Cab For A Cutie. It's a good song." Karkat replied, suddenly not so keen to play that song, or any song, for that matter.  
He picked at a string absent-mindedly. Pff, he could play so many Panic! At The Disco songs right now. So many.  
He strummed it until he realized he was actually playing the tune of _Always_.  
He started over, the lyrics running through his head as he played.

_When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back,_  
I'll be your levy.  
You are taking me apart,  
like bad glue on a get well card. 

_"It was always you, falling for me. Now there's always time, calling for me. I'm the light that's blinking at the end of the road, blink back to let me know.."_

It took a moment for Karkat to comprehend that John had started singing. He blinked. John blinked back.  
The teacher cleared her throat from the doorway. "You two... I know a few talent scouts who'd _love_ to hear you."  
Karkat shrugged, leaning back against the piano. "I dunno. I don't think music is really my thing."  
John shrugged as well and played the beginning of a song that Karkat thought sounded familiar but.... Shit John. _I Write Sins Not Tragedies_? Honestly John. How did you know Karkat loved that song John. _How._  
The teacher, who was most likely the music teacher, given her obvious liking of music, frowned. "I think the both of you have great chemistry! You should try to get into it!"  
"Yeah, no thanks. Besides, I'm not good at writing songs."  
The teacher huffed, crossing her arms. "I think you two need to watch _Lemonade Mouth_."  
"Seen it. There were five kids and they had much better chemistry than the two of us. Plus, that was a movie, not real life, and honestly, it wasn't that a good movie." John said, frowning.  
"That movie was pretty good!" Normally Karkat wasn't quick to the defense of kids' movies, but _Lemonade Mouth_ was one of his favorites. "I liked it. It's probably impossible in real life, but it was a good movie."  
John rolled his eyes and laughed, playing the keys randomly. It still sounded amazing. John you need to write this down, you might be onto something here.  
John looked up at Karkat. Huh, detention wasn't normally where you'd expect to meet the love of your life, but hey, since when were these things predictable.  
They just stared at each other for a good long while. They forgot the music teacher lady was even still there. What even was going on in their minds? Why was this happening. Why.  
"John?"  
"Yeah?"  
"The music teacher is still here."  
They both turned slowly to look at the teacher, who stood a few feet away, arms crossed.  
"So, are you two together?" She asked, obviously genuinely interested.  
"Uh... well no..."  
"Aw, that's too bad. I have a feeling the two of you would make for a cute couple."  
Well obviously this woman was insane.  
"I doubt it." Karkat mumbled, staring at the floor.  
"What was that? I didn't hear you. Sorry. My hearing is less than perfect."  
"And yet, you're a music teacher?" Karkat asked.  
That she did hear, and she laughed. "Now I see why you're in detention."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bluh I rushed but idec

**Author's Note:**

> ~~I've actually written chapter two already~~
> 
>  
> 
> ~~but we won't talk about that right now~~
> 
>  
> 
> ~~all of the chapter titles will be shitty pick up lines shoosh~~


End file.
